As Freshman Year Ends....
As college comes to a close (for the first year), I have a lot to reflect on, don't I?
Well, it's been a crazy year. From Manhattan to Minneapolis, it couldn't have been a bigger turn-around. But it also couldn't have been more of a a section of growth in my life. I learned so many things.
First of all, I learned how to make friends. Yes, I knew how, but from scratch guys?? And, having to do it a LOT makes you SO much more comfortable with it. I am much more independent, not only because I went to NYC all by myself, but because I literally FEEL so much more independent within myself. I obviously am not living with my family, but I handle my emotions so much more within myself than when I tucked my emotions into other people's pockets. I have gotten accustomed to loneliness and feel myself merging into adulthood each day. I literally can't explain it. I just feel different. Older. More capable.
I have made more friends than I knew was possible to make. Literally, I came here knowing nobody and thought I would only have 1-2 friends in the beginning, but I extrapolated those feelings from the first weeks to the whole semester. And by the end, I look back at my previous self and shake my head, because I stand here with like 10-12 great friends who I love and adore.
I missed high school so much in the beginning. All I wanted was home. I missed my best friends in the world Julia and Anna (still always do), but I slowly grew into college. One day, I was like, I'm fine. I am actually okay! I slowly stopped missing my past life. I appreciated it, but I no longer yearned for it.
I learned how to study better and be more capable alone, yes. But, I learned how to love harder, be a better friend, learn quality over quantity, be more comfortable in the uncomfortable, and can say I like myself a little more than I used to. I might even say I LOVE myself more than I used to, becoming more compassionate with my anxious, obnoxious, deep feeling, vulnerable self.
Freshman year was extremely hard. I left everyone I loved and was put in a new environment with just me, and I had everything that defined me stripped away. And from that, I had to create who I am and what I want with no previous definitions of what that means surrounding me.
S/O to my beautiful and amazing roomie, Claire, for being a light in my life, to Sophie, my best friend and bubbly light, my bestie Lizzy and her cute caring (and sometimes hilariously strange) self, to Peyton/Maddie/Summer for being my support team bible squad, to my wonderful neighbors, my sarcastic spark of energy Ellie, and to Jasmine my amazing workout & tv buddy. Thank you all! Oh, and my boyfriend Thomas. You rock. You really handle all of me. Thanks for that. :)
I have 3 more years, and I can't wait to see who I become. And what I'll do. And for you all, freshman year will throw you every emotion, but go through it, and as you reach the end, you'll have entered a new side of yourself and your life.